A Killer Retreat Read online

  No, Rowen didn’t know. She had never had the right combination of enough money and time to simply drop everything and travel. Some of the folks in their circle seemed to know what he was talking about at least. They nodded. The leader of the housewives even added an, “Mmm hmm,” to her nod. “That is so true. People just don’t understand how nourishing travel is. It really does nourish the soul. I’m going back to Machu Picchu in August. Just beautiful.”

  “Cool, cool.” Phoenix nodded, looking and sounding only half interested in what she had to say. “Why don’t you go next? What’s your name?”

  The leader of the housewives sat up a little straighter. “I’m Paris,” she said. “I came all the way down here from LA.” She preened a bit more when she said where she was from, like she expected all the small town people in the group to be impressed. Unfortunately, there was no denying that the other housewives looked suitably impressed by such a non-achievement.

  She went on, “I’ve been practicing the craft for a long, long time." Paris didn’t mention precisely how long she had been practicing. That would ruin the intent behind her phrasing—which was presumably meant to suggest, ‘I’ve been practicing longer than you.’

  “Cool,” said Phoenix, nodding again. Saying ‘cool’ and nodding seemed to be his go-to reaction to most things. “So, do you follow any one path in particular?”

  “Hmm?” Paris’ brow furrowed, or at least looked like it was trying to. There looked to be too much Botox in there for proper furrowing. “Oh, well, I don’t like to limit myself.”

  “Cool.” Phoenix turned to one of the women beside Paris. “And you?”

  ***

  They got through the housewives quickly. Not that all of them were actually housewives. A couple of the women described themselves as divorced. This trip was a go at making sense of their lives. They had crystal collections or personal psychics who had gotten them interested in the scene.

  “I’m Gary,” said Gary, once Phoenix was finished with the housewives. (Rowen couldn’t help but continue to call them that in her own head.) “I’ve been a wizard since I was fourteen. I’ve spent every day since trying to get a handle on my power.” He raised his hands and looked down on them warily, like they were weapons. “I can control myself now, but not if someone makes me mad. People who cross me live to regret it.”

  Phoenix laughed, which earned him a glare from Gary. Not that Phoenix seemed to notice the glare. “Well, let’s avoid making Gary here mad.” He nodded to the heavyset dreamcatcher woman next. “And you?”

  “I’m Gossamer.” She had a high and breathy voice that rubbed Rowen the wrong way. And Gossamer couldn’t possibly be her real name, could it? “I have three beautiful children. Two girls and one boy. They’re with their father right now. We’re divorced. It was a really hard time for me, and then the courts decided my ex should have the kids half the time. It’s been so, so hard. Really, you can’t imagine. I’m lucky my spirit animal found me when he did. He’s a beautiful gray wolf.” Gossamer’s fleshy cheeks glowed pink. “He can turn into a man. We were lovers in a past life.”

  “Cool,” Phoenix said without pause, talking over some snickers from the housewives. “I’ve got a spirit animal too. He’s an axolotl.”

  “Not a phoenix?” Paris asked, still smirking. Her posse tittered.

  “Naw, it’s an axolotl.” Phoenix turned his gaze to Aunt Lydia next. “And you?”

  “Oh!” Lydia sat up straight, the smile on her face broadening. “I’m Lydia Greensmith.” She motioned broadly to her family. “We’re all Greensmiths, actually. We live in Lainswich, so coming to this retreat was… fate. That’s all I can think to call it. My mother was a witch and her mother before her was a witch. Crystal mentioned the Stonewalls. They’re close friends of the family.”

  Rowen was finding it difficult to take her eyes off Paris. She whispered something to those around her. Given the way they were looking at Lydia and smirking, they probably didn’t believe her. It shouldn’t have bothered Rowen. It wasn’t any of her business if someone had their doubts. It shouldn’t have bothered her… but it did.

  Fortunately, Lydia had done most of the talking for the entire family. There wasn’t a whole lot to add aside from names. “I’m Rowen,” she said when it was her turn. “Nadine and Lydia here basically raised me. My mother, ah… travels a lot.” Rowen didn’t see any point in adding specifics. Her mother had never been around much. She appreciated traveling like Phoenix and Paris did. She enjoyed it a little too much. “My mother probably would have loved something like this.”

  “Well, you’ll have to get her to come next year,” Phoenix said brightly.

  The two women around Rowen’s age came next. “I’m Tasha,” said the first girl. She was very dark, with kinky hair that she couldn’t keep her hands out of. Tugging at her hair seemed to be something of a habit. “I guess I’m what you call an eclectic pagan. I’m from Atlanta and, uh, well… My friend here bought me a ticket and here I am.”

  Tasha’s friend raised her hand in a small wave. “I’m Erin.” Erin had a dark tan and mousy brown hair. She wore a flower print sun dress that exposed her scabby knees given the way she was sitting cross-legged. “I’m Wiccan. Tasha and I met in high school, and we’ve been super close ever since. I thought this retreat thing looked fun. I mean, I’m not really familiar with Crystal Spruce or anything, but yeah. Looked fun. I didn’t want to go alone, so I bought two tickets and roped Tasha here into coming with me.” Erin leaned to one side and playfully rammed Tasha with her shoulder. Tasha rolled her eyes and gave Erin a good-natured shove back.

  “Awesome!” Phoenix exclaimed, proving that he knew at least one synonym for ‘cool.’ “I’m super glad the two of you are here. Is that everyone?” He looked around, like he couldn’t quite be sure. “All right.” He leaned forward and shoved a hand into his back pocket. A few seconds later he produced a crinkled and folded sheet of paper. He opened it up and took a moment to read it, his eyes skimming quickly over a small black font. “Okay,” he boomed suddenly, jumping to his feet. The paper was shoved once more into his back pocket. “Next I’ll be giving you a little tour of our facilities. I’ll show you where you can put your stuff and where you can shower and, like, ya know, eat and stuff. So, uh…” Phoenix scanned his surroundings like he had somehow forgotten where they were. “I guess I’ll start with where everyone will be sleeping.”

  Paris daintily cleared her throat. “Sorry to interrupt, but shouldn’t we put our things up first?”

  Rowen found herself agreeing with Paris on that. She didn’t want to lug around all her stuff any longer than she had to. She wasn’t sure Willow even could lug her things around for the time it would take to do a tour of the camp.

  Phoenix looked a little lost for several seconds. He scanned all the faces around him. “Oh,” he said once the idea caught up to his brain. “Right. That makes sense. All right! This way everyone!”

  Everyone gathered up their things and followed. They were walking into the wind as they headed toward the cabin. The smell of weed wafting off of Phoenix was strong. Rowen glanced around to see if anyone else could smell it. She only managed to catch Willow’s eye.

  “Do you think if I ask nicely he’ll share?” asked Willow, still speaking in a whisper.

  “Don’t you dare,” Rowen hissed back, half-playfully, half-serious. She wouldn’t put it past Willow if she got bored enough.

  ***

  “Is this where we’re sleeping?” asked Paris as they climbed up the stairs of the first cabin they came across. It was large. Rowen could see bunk beds inside, all of them three mattresses high. She didn’t want to be relegated to sleeping high up on one of the top bunks, but she would prefer it to sleeping outside. There was a certain age when Rowen had found sleeping under the stars fun. She had long since passed that age.

  “Oh, no. Don’t worry. We have a space outdoors where everyone can sleep. Crystal says it’s part of the retreat experience. It gets you
so much closer to nature. It’s crazy refreshing. I slept here last night and, man, I had some of the best sleep of my life. You’ll love it.”

  “Mmm,” Paris hummed in response, lips pressed tightly together. She was looking at the cabin door much like Willow had earlier, already longing for some semblance of modern comforts.

  “The cabin is just for storing your things and brushing your teeth and, you know. Stuff like that.” Phoenix reached for the door and looked relieved when it opened. “If the weather gets bad, this is where we’ll sleep. Don’t you worry, though. The weather forecast is all clear this week. Nothing but sunny days ahead.”

  Rowen wished harder than she ever had for rain as she joined in the procession of people entering the cabin. Even though they probably wouldn’t be sleeping there, most everyone chose a mattress all their own. They sat their things there. A few people opened up their bags and removed water bottles and the like, anything they might need for a tour of the camp.

  Rowen didn’t bother to unpack anything, nor did Willow or Peony. The sisters’ first course of action was to collapse together on one of the bare mattresses. It was tempting to join them, but Nadine was already aiming small kicks at their shins. “Come on, girls. Get up. This is no time to sleep.”

  It felt like the perfect time to sleep. Rowen had to put a hand over her mouth to hide a yawn just at the idea of it.

  “Oh, give them a break.” Aunt Lydia spoke up in the girls’ defense, surprising just about everyone. “They’re not used to waking up as early as they did. Let them stay behind now so they can get a quick nap in. We can always fill them in later on where everything is. If we keep them up now, they’ll only fall asleep during meditation later.”

  Nadine had looked wholly unconvinced until that last part. She sighed. “Fine. As long as no one else has a problem with it, I suppose it won’t hurt anything if they stay.”

  “Um.” Rowen inserted herself into the conversation. “I’d like to stay behind too, if that’s all right. I’m also pretty tired.”

  “Of course.” Lydia reached out and tucked a strand of Rowen’s hair behind her ear. “You girls go ahead and get a power nap in.”

  “I thought we weren’t allowed to sleep in here?” Paris said, loudly. It didn’t so much sound like a question as it read like she was a child trying to get the Greensmiths in trouble.

  “Huh?” Phoenix looked to Willow and Peony. He shrugged. “I mean, we rented the cabin for the week. I took a nap in here yesterday. There’s not, like, a rule against it or anything.”

  It didn’t look like that was the answer Paris had wanted to hear. She frowned in the direction of the Greensmiths a few seconds longer then looked down at her things. “These would probably be safer if I locked them in my car.”

  Phoenix scanned the room. “I don’t think anyone here is going to—”

  “Better safe than sorry, right?” Paris began to gather up her things. Several of the other housewives began to do the same.

  “Let’s get going for now. You guys can come back to that later if you feel like your things would be safe somewhere else. Come on.” Phoenix headed for the door. All the housewives scrambled after him. Reluctantly, Paris did the same.

  “We’ll see you girls later. Be good.” Aunt Lydia gave her nieces a wink. “Don’t go stealing anyone’s personal effects.”

  Everyone left. Well, not quite everyone. Tasha and Erin had gone to the door, but then they lingered there rather than exiting. They were whispering to one another a few seconds before walking back in to the room of bunks.

  “I think we’ll stay behind too,” said Erin, flashing a shiny white smile in the direction of the remaining Greensmiths. “We’re both dead tired from the drive. Hope you don’t mind us stealing your idea.”

  “Not a bit,” said Willow, still sprawled out beside her sister on a bottom bunk.

  “The more the merrier,” added Peony.

  Tasha snorted. “I’m not sure about that.”

  “Not a fan of crowds or not a fan of the company?” asked Rowen.

  “I’m not overly fond of either, but that second one especially.”

  Rowen saw Willow and Peony sitting up out of the corner of her eye. They were thinking the same thing she was no doubt, that these two women could potentially turn into friends. Anything that might make the coming week better was welcome. “So, you’re from Atlanta,” began Peony. “That’s pretty far away, right?”

  Erin made a noncommittal hand gesture. “It’s a pretty long drive.”

  “It’s an excruciatingly long drive,” Tasha corrected. “Next time surprise me with a plane ticket to a beach vacation or Europe or something. You heard that Paris chick, right? Travel is good for the soul.”

  Erin huffed. “See if I ever buy you tickets for anything ever again. At least give this place a chance. I was trying to be a good friend.”

  “Oh, please. Don’t act like we’re not both doing each other a favor here.”

  Erin gave another huff, but she didn’t argue or even look particularly annoyed. She and Tasha were close, Rowen decided. She knew they were friends, but she hadn’t known how good of friends they were. It was rare that you didn’t feel the obligation to be gracious in a situation like this. Or maybe they were just blunt people. It was hard to tell having just met them.

  “So you’re a Wiccan and you’re a… a what?” asked Willow, looking from Erin to Tasha.

  “An eclectic pagan,” said Peony.

  The women both nodded. “That’s right,” said Erin. “I practice Wicca and Tasha here is more of a… general practitioner.”

  “And you’re all what?” asked Tasha. “Hereditary witches? What does that mean? I mean, I know what it means. I know your folks were witches, but what do you actually do?”

  Rowen glanced over at her cousins. There wasn’t a whole lot of help to find there. Both of them were already looking to her, lost. Rowen turned back to Erin and Tasha. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “We were born into being witches. I’m not sure how much more there is to it. We were raised all in one house. The family raised us with witchcraft as the norm. It wasn’t something we ever thought of as being special. Sure, later on we got made fun of in school for it, but it wasn’t like we could ever divorce it from our lives. It’s just part of who we are.” She looked again to her cousins, to see if they agreed or not.

  “Yeah,” said Peony. “That sounds about right.”

  “That sounds awesome,” said Erin. She was chewing on her bottom lip, and there was a dreamy, far off look in her eye like she was imagining being raised that way herself. “My parents were super religious. They never understood.”

  “Same,” said Tasha. “And then everyone gave me a hard time at school. Everyone except Erin that is.” She pulled her friend into an overly dramatic side hug. “What would I ever do without you?”

  “Well, you probably wouldn’t be here at this retreat. For all your complaining, I’m not sure whether that’s a good or a bad thing.”

  Tasha rolled her eyes then let them settle on the Greensmiths. “Well, I’m not sure I buy what Crystal Spruce is selling… but you guys seem like the real deal. Maybe you could teach us a thing or two. If you’re willing, I mean.”

  Rowen wasn’t used to being looked at as some kind of mentor. If anything, most of the people in Lainswich looked at her as an oddity at best, a potential danger at worst. “I’m not sure what I can teach you, but sure. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate. Though, you would probably be better off talking to one of my aunts. They know a heck of a lot more than I do. They even own a shop back in town, a metaphysical supply shop.”

  “Really?” It was less a question and more an exclamation of interest. Erin’s eyebrows rose.

  “Sounds like they’re living the dream, huh?” Tasha glanced to her friend and the two exchanged a knowing look. “Yeah, we’ll definitely have to swing by before we hit the road.”

  “So, do you guys like follow one path or…” Erin scanned t
he Greensmiths.

  Rowen shook her head. “Not really. Though, some of us have our strengths.”

  “And what’s your strength?”

  Rowen hesitated to answer Erin’s question. To most the answer would sound crazy. “I’m good with the dead, I guess.”

  It was time for both Erin and Tasha to raise their eyebrows. They exchanged another look. “Seriously?” asked Tasha.

  “Like medium-ship?” asked Erin.

  Rowen considered the word for a moment. “I guess.” She had never really thought of herself as a medium, but she couldn’t think of a better word for it.

  “Could you, ah… Do you think you could contact—”

  Rowen stopped Erin before she could finish that thought. “It’s not really like that. I can’t just call people up like I would on a telephone. They have to be around.” Rowen noticed the way Erin’s expression fell. “It’s actually better that they’re not around. At least, I think it’s better. It means they’ve moved on. I don’t know what happens after that, but I know that no good comes from them overstaying their welcome.”

  Erin nodded, lips pursed, gaze thoughtful. “I guess that makes sense.”

  “What are your areas of expertise?” Tasha asked Peony and Willow.

  The two were sprawled out on separate bunks now. “I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades,” said Willow.

  “Napping,” said Peony, one bunk above her sister.

  “My napping skills could use some practice.” Tasha yawned and stretched her arms above her head. “You don’t still want to catch up with the group do you?”

  Erin had caught a yawn from Tasha. It took her a second to answer. “I guess a quick nap couldn’t hurt, huh? We did have a long drive… Fine, but I’m setting an alarm on my phone.”

  Rowen chose a bunk for herself and flopped down onto it. The mattress was bare and felt like plastic. It was thin and uncomfortable and crinkled loudly when she moved. She was tempted to go and get her sleeping bag to lay over it but decided she was feeling too tired and lazy for all that. Tucking her arms under her head, she shut her eyes. Maybe she had been wrong to be so negative. What use came out of such extreme pessimism? If nothing else, it seemed like she might make a couple of friends out of the whole affair. A smile on her face, Rowen began to drift into a light sleep.